Hamlet

Barcarolle from "The Tales Of Hoffman"; Jacques Offenbach, composer

At half past four, following Captain 11, we watched either “The Partridge Family”, “My Three Sons” or “Gilligan’s Island”. Usually they showed “Gilligan’s Island”. Over the course of, gosh, who knows how many times they ran through the whole series, I think that I have seen every episode.

One of my favorite episodes featured Phil Silvers. As famous producer Harold Hecuba, his plane crash-lands on the island during his around-the-world talent search. While waiting for his rescue plane to arrive, he manages to demean and insult every one of the castaways, particularly Ginger. As a Hollywood actress, she has hopes that Mr. Hecuba would cast her in one of his movies. But after showing him her acting abilities, he laughs at her and accuses her of over-acting. At this point, she refuses to leave the island with the rest of her friends when the rescue plane arrives.

Gilligan suggests that they put on a production for Mr. Hecuba in the hopes that he would reconsider his assessment of Ginger’s talent. So they mount a musical version of “Hamlet”, with Gilligan playing the part of Hamlet and Ginger playing the part of Ophelia. Parodying the “Get thee to a nunnery” scene, and using the music of the barcarolle from “The Tales of Hoffman” by Jacques Offenbach, Ginger sings,

Hamlet, dear, your problem is clear,

Avenging thy father’s death;

You seek to harm your uncle and marm,

But you’re scaring me to death.

While I die and sigh and cry,

That love is everything;

You’re content to try to touch

The conscience of a king.

Since the day

When your dad met his fate,

You just brood

And you don’t touch your food;

You hate your ma,

Mad at my pa,

You’ll kill the king

Or some silly thing.

So, Hamlet. Hamlet,

Do be a man, let

Rotten enough alone.

From Ophelia

No one can steal ya’,

You’ll always be my own.

Leave the gravedigger’s scene,

If you know what I mean.

Danish pastry for two,

For me, for you.

You’ve got to admit, that’s really good writing. Consider, also, the Skipper as Polonius when he gives advice to Laertes, played by Mary Ann. To the tune of “The Toreador Song” from Carmen by Georges Bizet, the Skipper sings,

Neither a borrower, nor a lender be,

Do not forget: Stay out of debt;

Think twice, and take this good advice from me:

Guard that old solvency.

There’s just one other thing

You ought to do.

To thine own self be true.

I suspect that somebody at one time asked me to play Offenbach’s Barcarolle for a wedding. So I more than likely downloaded it from iTunes in order to learn it. It is really quite a lovely tune. Anyway, that’s why I have it on my iPod.

Credits: To Phil Silvers, the King of Chutzpah. I can’t get enough of your comedic genius. I loved your character in “It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.”