Singin' your own songs

Randy Newman; Simon Smith and his Amazing Dancing Bear

In 1993 I was the band leader aboard a cruise ship called the Crown Odyssey. We had an eight piece band and we played for dancing and for the shows in the Odyssey Show Lounge. In January of that year the ship cruised to Hawaii and back. And after we returned, the ship was chartered for four days by the Nissan company. I think they were honoring their top 200 sales people.

The highlight of their cruise was to dock in Long Beach, CA, and attend Super Bowl XXVII which was held at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena that year. Their Saturday night entertainment was a concert by Randy Newman.

Randy Newman, at that time, was mostly famous for the song “Short People”, a novelty tune that annoyed a lot of people and that Mr. Newman probably never figured would become a national hit. For years, Mr. Newman has been writing unique songs that became other people’s hits. And since the 80’s, he has become a sensation as a film composer, writing for “The Natural”, “Toy Story”, “Toy Story 2”, “Pleasantville” and “Sea Biscuit”. I particularly like his performance of the song he wrote for the television show Monk called, “It’s a Jungle Out There”.

Randy Newman is a Steinway artist and his contract stipulates that he must play a Steinway. We had a Yamaha. So, on the morning that we welcomed the Nissan people to the Crown Odyssey, a Steinway was brought on board. And not just a Steinway. A Hamburg Steinway. A Hamburg Steinway is a Steinway that was built by the old Steinway family back in the old country. Many pianists consider a Hamburg Steinway superior to an American Steinway. What did I care? For four days I played a Steinway instead of a Yamaha. It came with its own piano technician to assure that Mr. Newman was satisfied. Although, it probably wouldn’t have mattered much in the end, because at the concert Mr. Newman was drunk.

I am a fan of the Muppets. The Sesame Street muppets and the Muppet Show muppets, specifically. I’m not a fan of what they became after Jim Henson’s death. On the very first Muppet Show in January of 1976, Scooter and Fozzie perform one of Jim Henson’s very favorite songs, which was, “Simon Smith And His Amazing Dancing Bear”, written by Randy Newman. It was a match made in Heaven, complete with Rowlf the dog in the background playing the piano.

Now, here's the secret to help you appreciate the song "Short People". Randy Newman’s schtick is to write lyrics from the perspective of a character far removed from Mr. Newman’s own persona. And usually that character is not completely reliable. It’s a brilliant premise from which to work.

The only way that I knew of "Simon Smith" was from The Muppet Show, and when I read one day that Randy Newman was the composer, I spent the ninety-nine cents that it cost to download the song from iTunes. And I knew it would be interesting for the following reason.

Randy Newman, as creative as he is with words and music, is absolutely atrocious at singing his own creations. Over the years of hearing him on the radio and television, and at the concert on the Crown Odyssey, I have yet, with the exception of Monk, to hear him present a performance of his music that is a well-thought out, nicely packaged rendering of his craft with style and finesse. Maybe that’s part of his charm, maybe he believes that the words and music can carry their own weight. I wouldn’t be able to get away with it. I would be completely miserable.

And speaking of miserable ... Super Bowl XXVII: Buffalo Bills 17, Dallas Cowboys 52. BOOOOOOOOOO!!

Credits: To all of my fellow cruise ship musicians, who endured indignities galore while nurturing musical growth during one of the most glam jobs we might ever have. Thank you for sharing part of your musical life with me.

Checkup: I lost 2 lbs.