The weirdest CD

Duos For Classical Accordions; Stravinsky~Mussorsky; James Crabb, accordionist, Geir Draugsvoll, accordionist

In January of 1999, I saw that the Minnesota Orchestra had programmed Beethoven’s Symphony No. 5. In all of my years as a musician, I had never heard a live performance of this quintessential classical work. I called my friends, D. and G. from Sioux Falls. Did you know about the Minnesota Orchestra’s performance of Beethoven’s Symphony No. 5 in a few weeks? “Nope.” Do you have that weekend free? “Yup.” Would you like to go? “Yup.” I’ll pick you up at noon. “Good.”

I had been to Orchestra Hall twice before; once in the summertime during my high school years and another time when I took Mom and Dad to see Victor Borge. The stage has an unusual backdrop and ceiling. A large cube motif protrudes from the back wall and from the upper inner shell of the hall itself, bringing both wonderful acoustical properties and a warm architectural aesthetic to the hall.

Beethoven sounded very fine amidst all of the cubiness. But the last movement went just about as fast as I think I’ve ever heard on any recording. This wasn’t the we-have-to-go-slow-because-deafness-is-settling-in-and-I-don’t-know-what-my-fate-is-going-to-be-oh-wooooeee-is-me-destiny-is-knock-knock-knock-knocking-at-my-door-could-somebody-please-tell-him-to-go-out-and-get-a-bloody-sandwich-‘cause-I’ve-got-four-more-symphonies-to-go Beethoven. This was Fate-is-big-fast-and-LOUD-Ta-Daaaaaa!-now-let’s-go-out-and-get-some-dinner Bethoven. Pair it up with a forgettable performance of the Brahms Violin Concerto and we got ourselves a painting.

The next day, we stopped at Borders at Lyndale Avenue and 494 to look at CD’s. Everything was going fine, just some innocent Sunday afternoon shopping. Then, out of the blue, D. provoked me, he challenged me, he upped my dander, by holding up a CD and saying these immortal words, that I can still hear today: “Hey, Erik. I dare you to buy this CD.” Oh, I can hear all of you. “Shake it off, Erik. They’re just words. You don’t have to buy CD’s if you don’t want to.” Well, you don’t know D. like I know D. and, boy howdy, how I know D. Inside that seemingly benign “Hey, Erik. I dare you to buy this CD,” was a frustrated man who expected forty minutes of Beethoven the night before but only got thirty-five. He got gypped out of five minutes of LvB and he needed a scapegoat. I looked into his eyes to see that he desperately needed satisfaction, so I looked at the CD to see how much dignity this would cost me. Let’s see, marked down to five dollars, that’s not so bad. What are they playin’? Stravinsky’s “Petrushka” and Mussorgsky’s “Pictures At An Exhibition” played by ……………

TWO ACCORDIONISTS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I quickly put up the front of affrontery, exasperation and pique, knowing that the five-hour ride home would be far more pleasant if D. could think that he had brought some measure of pain upon me and my CD-listening household. But the thing is … the twisted side of me was immediately intrigued. I knew that I would like this CD if for no other reason than for curiosity’s sake. For the rest of my life, I would be armed to the teeth whenever playing the “What’s your weirdest CD?” game. If I didn’t love the CD itself, I at least loved the idea of the CD. And THAT, right there, would have ruined it for the vengeance-seeking D., simply because, and I apologize to women everywhere when I say, you can’t rape the willing.

EXCEPT …… that D. got curious on the way home and wanted to listen to it. So we dug it out and slipped it into the CD player in my Durango. And we couldn’t believe our ears. WE COULDN’T BELIEVE OUR EARS!!! We genuinely couldn’t convince ourselves that we had ever heard world class orchestras play these two pieces better than these two geniuses, each of whom must have had the deep misfortune to have only an accordion at their disposal when the child prodigy gene kicked in.

James Crabb from Scotland and Geir Draugsvoll from Norway both teach accordion at the Royal Academy of Music in Copenhagen, Denmark. Together, as a duo, they have brought reputation and status to an often mocked and derided vehicle of music by performing with symphonies and orchestras all over the world. Each have commissioned and premiered major classical works in an effort to broaden the spectrum of their instrument, and in that vein truly serve as universal musical pioneers.

When D. heard how superbly these incredible musicians pulled off the feats on this extraordinary CD, the retribution for the Beethoven thing didn’t taste as sweet. So I bought him an ice cream cone. That shut him up. Now we could talk about how bad that Brahms sounded.

I once saw an old black and white postcard that showed five accordion-clad Russians arguing passionately in the middle of Red Square in Moscow. The caption underneath said, “If you outlaw accordions, only outlaws will have accordions.”

Credits: To my friend D., for his (so far) lifelong, undying passion for classical music. And to his lovely wife G., for fueling, then putting up with, D.’s (so far) lifelong, undying passion for classical music. All the best to you in Tampa. Thank you.